Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
