I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
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Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
