I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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