whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
