Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
