I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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