I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
