Who did Billy Mays play for?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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