I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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