dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
