I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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