dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
As shirtless as possible
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can vaginas get frostbite?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
