a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
