god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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