if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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