I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
