I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
