From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
