SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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