drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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