Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We don't watch enough power rangers
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
