Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
