It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
