I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
