We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
vagina is talking i cant
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
