We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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