Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
