it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
