So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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