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I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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