she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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