I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
