"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
