Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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