this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
