you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
