bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize