i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We are all done wearing pants today
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
