im about as happy as oj after his trial
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think I just sharted jello shots
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