I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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