So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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