Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
