New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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