i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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