The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
