I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
