her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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