We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize