hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I FOUND THE LEGS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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