what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
