i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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