That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
