look no pants
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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