last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
