If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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