why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
