Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
