I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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