1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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