Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she peed on how many people?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
