just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it's like iHOP with fire
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
