holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
