maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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