Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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