who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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