I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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