are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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