lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
