I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
