matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
