its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
