Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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