your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize